Dear Japan,
I am not a religious man. Despite my upbringing deeply entrenched in the world of Catholicism, I grew up to be an agnostic individual, completely unconvinced of the power of religion, or even the existence of god.
I do know one thing though...
If there is a god out there, maintaining a grand design on a complex universe filled with marvels and wonders, THIS was not in his plan!
Watermelons are supposed to be oblong and bulky! You've made a mockery of everything the good lord intended for the sweetest of fruits!
And what's the point? To save refrigerator space? Japan, you are leading the world in technological advances! You're responsible for some of the most important developments of the modern era! Computers...cars...Godzilla...YOU'VE DONE IT ALL! Nobody can deny how god damn clever you are. So just...stop. Stop! Leave our fruit alone!
So if you're in the grocery store and you see one of these slaps to the face of creation, do the right thing and tell it to fuck off.
Love,
Zach
Zach
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