This morning, I stopped at my local neighborhood fruit stand to get my daily dose of Vitamins whatever. After selecting my Granny Smith Apple and Banana, I asked the friendly fruit man how much I owed him.
"$1.25"
Marveling over the affordability of fruit, I dug into my pocket and pulled out two crisp dollar bills and handed them over to my new friend.
He then stared at me.
I stared at him.
Hours passed.
Finally, the fruit man (and just to clarify, I'm referring to the man selling me fruit, not making a slur towards him being a homosexual. As far as I know, he wasn't a homosexual...however he did handle my banana with a certain confidence that could make me wonder) realized that I was waiting for change. By my calculations, I was owed three quarters. Or a fifty cent piece and quarter. Or seven dimes and a nickel. I think that's all the combinations...
Now, I don't know the current policies amongst fruit vendors, but I think that at most reputable retailers, one is given change in cash. I've heard tale of a salon that will give you change in compliments, but I've never been there.
So, the fruit man made moves to grab something, which I, being an American and a proud capitalist, assumed would be several coins. I held out my hand, expecting to feel the familiar weight of "Li'l Washingtons", but instead was met with two mushy orbs.
After my initial shock of having someone's testicles forced into my hand had worn off, I looked down to realize that I was now holding a plum and a peach.
I looked down at them with confusion.
I looked up at the fruit man.
Had I blacked out and asked for a plum and a peach? It wouldn't be the first time, but the fact that I hadn't consumed eleven Irish Car Bombs on my way to work lead me to believe that I was probably clear-headed.
The fruit man, sensing my confusion, stated plainly,
"$1.25"
Marveling over the affordability of fruit, I dug into my pocket and pulled out two crisp dollar bills and handed them over to my new friend.
He then stared at me.
I stared at him.
Hours passed.
Finally, the fruit man (and just to clarify, I'm referring to the man selling me fruit, not making a slur towards him being a homosexual. As far as I know, he wasn't a homosexual...however he did handle my banana with a certain confidence that could make me wonder) realized that I was waiting for change. By my calculations, I was owed three quarters. Or a fifty cent piece and quarter. Or seven dimes and a nickel. I think that's all the combinations...
Now, I don't know the current policies amongst fruit vendors, but I think that at most reputable retailers, one is given change in cash. I've heard tale of a salon that will give you change in compliments, but I've never been there.
So, the fruit man made moves to grab something, which I, being an American and a proud capitalist, assumed would be several coins. I held out my hand, expecting to feel the familiar weight of "Li'l Washingtons", but instead was met with two mushy orbs.
After my initial shock of having someone's testicles forced into my hand had worn off, I looked down to realize that I was now holding a plum and a peach.
I looked down at them with confusion.
I looked up at the fruit man.
Had I blacked out and asked for a plum and a peach? It wouldn't be the first time, but the fact that I hadn't consumed eleven Irish Car Bombs on my way to work lead me to believe that I was probably clear-headed.
The fruit man, sensing my confusion, stated plainly,
"Plum and peach. Now two dollars."
He then waved me off.
I started to say something, but he then waved me off again.
I walked away, four pieces of fruit filling my hands, feeling like I had somehow been taken advantage of...but still being impressed with the price of fruit.
He then waved me off.
I started to say something, but he then waved me off again.
I walked away, four pieces of fruit filling my hands, feeling like I had somehow been taken advantage of...but still being impressed with the price of fruit.
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