Just Say Mehbe

This Is Why I Don't Have To Work Today?

1/16/2012

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"I have a dream, at least once a week, where I'm running through a forest
being chased by a pack of wolverines and they're gaining on me.  I'm
running as fast as I can, but those little bastards are quick.  I'm certain
if I make it to the edge of the forest they won't be able to follow me any
further, so I push harder.  As I make my way down a hill near the edge of
the woods though, I trip over a tree trunk and fall down the hill.  I
tumble for what feels like an eternity, a fall that feels all the longer because
I know that as soon as I stop tumbling there will be a pack of angry wolverines
ready to feast on my flesh.  Finally, I land face first in a puddle. 
A thought pops into my head of how red the puddle will turn as it fills with my
blood.  Will the wolverines just leave my body there and devour it, or will
they drag me off and eat my tender flesh somewhere else?  As I lift my head
up, I can hear their swift paw paces slow and the sound of growling moves ever
closer.  I can't see a thing though, as muddy water has infested my
eyes.  I think of my wife and children, at home and not knowing that I'm
about to meet such a tragic end.  I am filled with sadness knowing I'll
never see little Bernice's smile again.  Then, I hear a noise and despite
the fact I can't see, I can tell there is a glowing light surrounding me. 
Initially, I assume I have died and gone to heaven...but the sound of growling
Wolverines can still be heard.  I don't know much about heaven, but I have
to assume it is not infested with ravenous wolverines.  I hear a crackling
sound and a whimper.  This repeats again and again. 
Then...silence.  I furiously rub my eyes, trying to make heads or tails of
what just happened.  Then, my vision clears and I see a man, dressed all in
white, carrying a staff.  It's Ted Danson, only he's a wizard.  I
don't know how I know he's a wizard, but it's clear to me that he is.  I
ask him what happened to the wolverines and he says, with a sly Sam Malone
inflection, "I took care of them."  Ted Danson then accompanies me to the
end of the forest and tells me to take care.  I mutter, "Why'd you save
me?" and he replies, "You still have work to do."  I take a few steps
towards the village then turn to ask him what work, but Ted Danson is already
gone.  That dude is a cryptic motherfucker.  I have this dream at
least once a week."


-Martin Luther King Jr. in his famous 'I Have A Dream' speech
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    Zach Levin   

    Portly Clown Who Runs This Website

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